Why It Should Never Take Balls To Be A Woman

“There are a hundred ways to slip between the cracks of our not-so-credible cultural assumptions.” – Staceyann Chin

Grass is like a big blanket of love from the earth, and when the sun shines on my skin, it’s like a kiss on my forehead. I like laying on grass as I write, it makes me feel as though Mother Nature is watching over me, and teaching me how to remain connected to the world around me.

It’s so easy not to think about how the small things we do affect our lives and how we see ourselves in comparison to others.

A few weeks ago, I was scrolling down my Tumblr timeline, and I found this image.

At first, I wanted to reblog it, because subconsciously, I agreed with the message it communicated. We should strive to be women of substance, always. But then, I decided not to.

If I had reblogged this picture, I would have contributed to a problem that affects women everywhere. Stating that a woman needs “balls to be a woman” perpetuates the idea that a woman’s identity is invalid, and that she cannot be perceived as competent, unless she seeks to emulate the role of a man, one that does not naturally belong to her.

While I do know that patriarchy defines our identities as women, in the eyes of others, being in college, and having the opportunity to meet women from so many different backgrounds, has shown me that, a lot of times, we women, make a choice to honor patriarchy.

Patriarchy is the only script most of us have ever had a chance to learn, and throughout our lives, some of us may discover that the range of roles made available to us by patriarchy are limiting to our purpose.

I grew up in a family, where women had no idea how not to switch out a light bulb or not haul heavy objects without assistance. We called it being SELF-SUFFICIENT. While I do agree, that women should be encouraged to be independent and to face their challenges boldly, I do not agree that the only way to ensure that we’re taken taking seriously is for us to behave like men.

To me, being a feminist not only means that I recognize the influence of patriarchy on the social structures, which affect the lives of women. It means that I strive to live my life in way that promotes equal rights and opportunities for integration and advancement for all.

I saw Staceyann Chin live two years ago, and although the experience was amazing, I think her thoughts about womanhood and the relationships between men and women ate a lot more extreme than my own. I wish I could have spoken to her and asked her about how she became such a liberated an empowered woman.

When it comes to spirituality, I think she’s a great role model. She says that she does not believe in God, but that to her “holy” is that place in the universe right between belief and what we name it. As much as I would like to shy away from that last statement, it feels oddly accurate.

As women, our entire lives consist of messages coming from the outside and resonating on the inside, about how we are “too much” or “too little,” or insert flaw, and I believe that in order for us to give in to our passions and discover our purpose, we must learn to let go, and to allow to world to tell us its truth about ourselves, but being committed to making our own, in line with our values and goals.

There’s something sacred about waking up in the morning and feeling a sense of purpose and in finally convincing ourselves that even though there’s a long way to go, we can be reach our goals. Within the center of that sacredness is God.

Show the world everything that you are.

– Miss Columnist

One thought on “Why It Should Never Take Balls To Be A Woman

  1. curiosetta says:

    > Patriarchy is the only script most of us have ever had a chance to learn, and throughout our lives, some of us may discover that the range of roles made available to us by patriarchy are limiting to our potential.

    True for both men and women. Patriarchies roles for men (miner, farm labourer, construction worker, soldier, financial supporter and protector of women etc) have always been just as restrictive as for women (housewife, homemaker, child raiser, sock darner etc). Pick any period in history and tell me you would have actually preferred (as a woman) to swap your traditional patriarchal female role with men’s role at that time. If you can’t think of a time when men’s roles were preferable to women’s then patriarchy was not the oppression of women, no matter how restrictive it might have been for women (and men).

    > I grew up in a family, where women had no idea how not to switch out a light bulb or not haul heavy objects without assistance. We called it being SELF-SUFFICIENT.

    Right. For women to ‘break free’ of patriarchal roles it means having to do more work, having to get your hands dirty, having to take more risks and having to be more self sufficient. This is not the same as breaking free of oppression, even if it feels like it. A teenager might feel they are breaking free of oppression, but they are just gaining independence, that’s all. Their childhood was not oppression, it was protection. And in the same way patriarchy protected women. When children grow up their parents stop protecting them. And when technology gets advanced enough to create cities and offices and street lighting and plenty of non-manual labour job opportunities patriarchy stops protecting women. The only group of women who still demand protection from patriarchy is ….(drum roll) ….. feminists.

    > While I do agree, that women should be encouraged to be independent and to face their challenges boldly, I do not agree that the only way to ensure that we’re taken taking seriously is for us to behave like men.

    But it amounts to the same thing. Even today to be able to do practical ‘dirty’ tasks like changing a car tire or building a wall means acting like men do, because – in general – it is still men who are expected to do these kinds of practical tasks. It’s not that you are behaving ‘as a man’, it is that you are behaving ‘as men behave’.

    As more and more women become plumbers, construction workers, deep sea trawlers, roofers, garbage collectors, and engineers (and nobody is fighting harder for this to happen than feminists! – (joke)) we will start to see these kinds of tasks lose their association with men.

    It’s unfair to demand practical jobs be associated with women when currently men still do most of them and men make up 95% of workplace deaths as a result.

    Like

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